Faith to Nothing or Nothing to Faith?

We went to church yesterday morning, the first time since Mother's Day and for the first time we honestly didn't have a sense of the Holy Spirit. Odd, especially for me and Lee, it seems as though from the first day we walked into Grace we felt the move of God. Trust me, He moved a miracle in our lives so we have a small idea of what that move feels like. But yesterday, it was unmoving, non-realistic almost. And maybe a large portion of that feel is because we are dealing with disappointment and anger. Those emotions and feelings have and are clouding a lot of our faith, both individual and joint. I hope that we have our faith, I hope that somewhere in the past 4 weeks we haven't lost it in the midst of our trials. But somewhere in the midst of these past weeks, we have found that we are drifting away or building walls. Something that both of us worked on to destroy for many years with God's help and direction. So what do we do with this place tht we are in, the anger that we desperately tried to quelch with no success, the disappointment that we are dwelling in? Nothing.
I don't know about you but to me faith does not come from the world in my (and only my opinion) faith comes from God, through His Holy Spirit, by my trust in Jesus Christ. That's a long list of people to get to me huh? Last spring we took Experiencing God and in one of the sessions we discussed faith and what it meant to us. I think this is the first time that I realized that faith was small in me but that was all I needed. In Matt 17: 20 Jesus was talking (to someone in a parable) and said "Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain "move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." I believe more then ever that I have very little faith. I am struggling to stay focused on God and the more I struggle the more difficult it is. And I feel alienated from God to the point that I don't know how to get through this wall back to Him. But yesterday, during worship, we sang a hymn and somewhere deep in me my spirit jumped. That was the first time I've felt this in a while and, even though I was crying, I could feel Jesus put his arms around me and hold onto me. It was only a second, just a fleeting moment but I could feel Him. I don't know if Lee had that feeling but I know that I did and I remembered Jesus's words above, that I do not have to have a mound of faith to get to Him. That my small amount of faith is enough and He will do the rest.
So while I sit here this morning, crying over words on Facebook, I wonder what faith you do or don't have in you? Do you have faith enough to get thru one small or one large trial? Remember, it's only a mustard seed of faith that is needed, that's all God will do the rest.