Friday, February 20, 2009

Trust Me

Kind of an odd statement for a blogspot isn't me. It means so many things today and can me an array of other things. Trust me. Those words don't always sound inviting do they. They seem carry us away at first. Trust me. Then with age and life filling our heads those words could mean sarcasism and generally do in today's language. Those two simple words can have a different affect on you when you hear them, how you hear them, and who is saying them.
We, as humans, learn "trust" as an action. We take our parent's hand to go somewhere, we get into cars with our newly licensed teenage friends (sometimes when neither of us should be driving), we give our hearts to someone special, and we return the cycle with our children. Action, and we learn it. But we also hear it, not just in the way people protect us or we them, but in the way that we use it every day. "Trust me", with a little hint of sarcasism behind it. Jokingly used with friends, or seriously used with enemies. "Trust me" a plea in hiding for someone to love us, even though in reality we are running from them. "Trust me" a confident statement made to relieve the pressure of responsibility, a friendship that helps instead of hinders. "Trust me."
I believe these two little, one syllable words mean something different when God speaks them, or puts them into action. Jesus sais "Do not let your hearts be troubled, put your trust in God and trust also in me." How exactly do I do that? What am I suppose to trust? More importantly, Why? That's really what it comes down to, Why? I had to put my trust in God this week and do somethig that He'd actually been telling me to do for over a year. It's amazing how many things get in the way when God speaks. Above all, me (or you as it may be)! This week I broke a generational stronghold on my life. I gave up the finance part of my marriage to my husband. I didn't know that it was a generational stronghold until earlier this week when Lee sent me a daily devotional about generational strongholds. It was very clear after reading this half page devotional that I was caught in a stronghold. Let me just say that this was not the easiest thing in the world to do, I mean I've been delaying, making excuses, avoiding, and hiding from this issue for over a year. I think, on a personal level, I did a great job of getting away from what I was suppose to do. The problem is that things never really straightened out for me. I had plans to clean up the problem that I had created and the problem just got worse. Even more so, God was giving me the ole glare from afar. You know the one I mean, the one your mother gives you when all she has to do is look at you and you know that you are wrong...that look! I didn't literally see it but in my every day time with God, the words "trust me" kept coming up. To the point that when I was reading just flipping through the bible places where I stopped were about trusting God. So on Saturday morning, I laid down beside Lee and handed him the checkbook and my debit about hard! I was okay at first but everything was still within reach, but then Lee left and gave me the checkbook to go get horse feed. The very first thing I did was looked for my debit card (when I gave it to him he put it in the checkbook). To my disappointment, it wasn't there. Lee left and I had an anxiety attack!! I had nothing to do but pray and ask God for strength to get through this part and time in my life. I'm still having a little bit of problems with it (of course it's only been 1 day) but I find myself not concerned with what is happening with the account. Lee has it under control, and God has my life under control. Don't be misled, the enemy is still at the door and I can come up with 900 reasons and ways to use our money anyway I can. And when those times arise I just stop doing what I am doing and ask for God's strength for me to trust Him.
This is what we are suppose to do. This is what we are here for, to find (seek), to trust and to do what God has planned for us. As hard as it is, and as far fetched as it is, our human mind can not wrap itself around this part of our life. Mostly because our life on earth is filled with human desires and wants-ones that the enemy helps plant and start. It's our spirit's desire to be closer to God, it's our soul and mind that we live by and fight every day.
But somewhere between what we want and what we long for, God gets in. I don't know how and I don't know where He does it but He does. I believe He's waiting for the perfect time to show me (and you) He and He alone can be trusted. This is that time, the time for me to put all of my fear, concerns, hurts, in Him and Trust only Him.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sunrise This Morning!

Just for clarity the sunrise this morning did not look like this picture but it has before looked like this picture. A morning when you wake up and the first thing you see is long reaching rays of light sneaking from behind heavy clouds. It's amazing and, like me, I'm sure you have a tendency to stare at a sunrise like this. This morning, however, the sun was full and bright - nothing hiding its power. These are the mornings that start off absolutely peaceful and then when you get behind the steering wheel of your car, it's blinding! Flip you visors down, put on the sunglasses, move around in the seat to get the exact place where the sunlight isn't beaming in your eyes and you can still see in front of you, all the mirrors and the inevitable stop light.
Driving in this morning the sun beaming low in the East, I found that it wasn't really that bright. I didn't need the visor or an inevitable adjustment of sitting position to be able to see. It's that way with my walk with God and I tend to lien to the fact that most of us fall into this area. When we see God work in our life or in the lives of friends and family around us, it's amazing - we see the brilliant rays of His work reaching from behind a fog or cloud cover. Then we grow, change, start to see God's move and real work and it's brilliant, almost blinding. So, first reaction, put the visor down. We can still see the road, or path, directly in front of us and that is all we tell ourselves we need to see "just where I'm going". Until that road makes a turn that we weren't expecting, then the bright light of the sun sneaks through between the visor and the rear mirror. Augh! Blinded for just a second; quickly we close our eyes to regroup our sight. Adjust the sitting position, move the visor, put on the sun glasses!! Ah, relief, shade, cover.
Daily we put on our sun glasses to God. While these glasses are spiritual glasses they go on immediately and stay on without adjustment. God's movement, work, love, and presence is brilliant. So much so that when we get a glimpse of it, we immediately put on our protection, sunglasses. These "shades" were called "scales" in Acts. Saul was blinded on his way to Damascus by the living Christ. When he was healed, by those who he was going to persecute, "immediately something like scales fell from his eyes..." Saul could see. I know in this story, Saul was actually blinded in the physical; but God removed not only the physical blindness but also the spiritual blindness, our sunglasses, that Saul was wearing. Saul saw for the first time, the true movement of God and didn't turn away.
Wouldn't my life be unbelievable if everyday I could see God move and work and not put on my sunglasses. I'm working toward that day, slowly but the push from behind is getting stronger and the brilliant light in front of me is not so blinding.
I think that most of us are on this road, the road that is visible one day and so brilliant the next that we have to put on our sunglasses. Maybe, just maybe, the light is suppose to make us blink for a second (a completely human reaction), but then I believe we are suppose to go by blind faith toward the brilliant light that is shining ahead of us. Seeing is believing is the old saying, but believing is knowing. Knowing that God has it all under control and He wants us to walk into His clear light, His direction, and know it is Him.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What My Horse Has Taught Me

Sometimes I wonder when exactly I started listening to my horse, Raychel, not that she can speak but she does teach me many lessons. For instance, she has more than once taught me not to get to far ahead of her in the saddle because an abrupt stop will throw me out of the saddle and over her head...usually onto my head! How exactly did she teach me this? She used her body language, she would make a small adjustment in her bodily movement that I would unfortunately miss. But as I have spent time (6 years) with her, I have learned to hear what she is telling me and I have learned to adjust my reactions around her to not end up on my head on the ground.
Psalms 20:7 reads "Some trust in chariots, and some trust in horses, but I will trust in the name of the Lord our God." This is actually a memory verse for a group I am in and it struck me when the psalmist said "...some trust in horses..." Why? Well among other things, I am still learning to trust my horse when we are riding in unfamiliar territory. She often sees things before me and begins to make adjustments to her body before we even get to the obstacle. However, I often make her readjust her actions to my desires, even though she knows that it probably isn't the best reaction she trusts me.
All to often I am finding that I am reacting the same way with God. He sees ahead and asks me to start making adjustments in my life before I even get to the obstacle. Whether or not I accept those instructions and trust Him is my choice. I want to be in control and do things my way, even though those things may end me up on the ground on my head...which is usually the way it happens with God too. "...but I will trust in the name of the Lord our God", what an unusual way to live, trusting a life director when I can't see Him lead, when I have no idea what is ahead, and when I find myself afraid to trust Him. Just like Raychel, God allows me to make the decision to trust Him and just like with Raychel I am learning to trust His guidance. It's been slow going but I've only been doing this for a year, remember it has been a long 6 years with Raychel and even now I am still getting ahead of her and not trusting her. I don't think that I will ever get it exactly right with God (or Raychel for that fact) and I don't think I'm suppose to.
I believe that God is trying to get my attention, yours too if you listen close enough. What I find is my problem is that I don't want to have to trust because that would mean that I have made the adjustment. I have to let go, I have to step out.
I always tell people that the horse doesn't have to like what I tell it to do, she just has to do it. That is exactly what God is saying...'you don't have to like it, you just have to do it!' I guess my horse has taught me more than I have taught her, maybe she was listening to God when I was working on my own agenda. I think it's time to let go.
"Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but as for me I will trust in the name of the Lord our God."