Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Seeing is Believing

I have always heard and on some part believed that seeing is believing, haven't you? I mean we go through life asking for proof of things from basically everyone; everyone from scientist, to theologists, to friends and family members who we offer our trust.  Seeing is believing, wouldn't you agree? But is believing seeing? There's a question for you! Is believing seeing? I don't believe so or at least not on all levels, because I have seen something and still do not believe. I saw people who were much older than me (when I was much, much younger) be calm and collected with dealing with a temperamental horse - when I would have (and still might) become more forceful than necessary to get the point across. Mind you not to a point of abusing but probably from an outside look at the brink of abuse.  And in the back of my mind I could hear myself say "you aren't getting anywhere" and within a time frame of a minutes maybe and hour the horse would give and settle. And yet I didn't believe.  So seeing is not always believing, even though that is the thing that should say more than any other thing about proof. I would tell you today that if I had seen it I would have believed it but from just one example in my past, that statement would be a lie.  I would bet to say that the same is true for you. And I would say that seeing should make a believer, in whatever it is, for each and everyone of us. But if that were true, then when I stand at the cemetery and look at two headstones with the names of my son and his best friend, I would believe that they really are no longer here. I would believe that this is real and I'm not going to wake up and find out that this is all a dream (not unlike the phenomenal end to the TV show Dallas some 20+yrs ago [sorry if that does not ring bells with you]). Is seeing believing? I would say no, not on any level is seeing believing and the same is true for the flip of that statement. And yet they are used in every sense of life, every way we handle our every day life.

It is not secret not even a little one that I am in a struggle with believing, believing in purpose, believing in faith, believing in the word of God, and simply believing that things will eventually get better.  It is obvious to you now why that is not a secret. The struggle that I am dealing with spiritually, in every day, has been bled in every aspect of this blog, and I have used this blog to express that struggle and the hope that I try to cling. So how do I believe without seeing? I think this is the question that needs answering because seeing is believing is not working.  How do I get to the place where I can believe without seeing? How can I get through this struggle and onto a place of true healing, not forgetting, true comfort and peace, without loosing that part of my life? faith. Which is easier said than done; faith is the impediment of believing is not seeing. John 20:29 "Then Jesus said to them 'Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed'." Seeing is not always believing, thats what this statement is saying, that just because you see doesn't always mean you believe. I mean in essence that's what Jesus said, right? Maybe not exactly in those words but I wonder if because I didn't back read or forward read to this scripture (by the way thank you ex-brother-in-law Mike for the location) what was happening when Jesus said this to the disciples? I know that throughout the scriptures the disciples with Jesus didn't always believe what he was saying. I wonder if they often didn't believe His words. (I know "good night she went there!") But lets face facts, the most believing moments in the disciples time with Jesus was when he was doing miracles, right? When He was doing something amazing - and my guess, which is just that a guess, is that when He was just being Him and telling them things they were probably like "yea right?" (Ok so not in those terms.) But don't you just wonder why Jesus had to say this to the disciples? Why did He use this statement? I don't know I'm sure He had some reason, some purpose, something in mind and probably more intense than what I read.

So is seeing believing? I don't think so. Do I believe everything that I see? No, still don't believe that I stand at a plot and see the names Kaleb Lee Valliant and Thadius Ian Markle and believe that this place that we are in and this time we are going through is real. But do I want to believe that somewhere, in some future time, believing is not seeing and that its ok to struggle and question, doubt and be angry, and sometime out there He knows that my faith is based solely on believing, thats all. Seeing is not believing, that is more true than the standard version. Seeing is not believing no matter which way you cut it. I read John 20:29 like this - I know that you know Me and that times you do not believe, but I know your heart and that you believe and are blessed even when you don't want see and still believe. Doesn't that make much more sense? I think so.