Monday, December 22, 2008

Hearing the Voice

Not the booming loud voice that you imagine when you hear the story of Moses and the burning bush or of Moses on mountain top talking to God but a subtle soft voice that says it and leaves it. You know the voice that nugs you in the direction you're suppose to go and then leaves all the action up to you. I think that some would call that our subconscious and I do believe that our own personal mind and soul can interfer with our thinking but this is the voice that says "I want you to do this". I have had several things where I have been going in a direction that seems listless and relentless but everyday I am starting to feel like the direction is getting clearer. I attribute that to God. That's it just straight up God. I have a very strong feeling that He has made a decision to use me and my husband for Him. I don't know what for but more and more over the past 8 months I have been driven to accomodate some direction that God has set before me. Even though during this time, I have been very strong willed to do it my way and not His. Funny how eventually you do exactly what God wanted you to do, I believe that He allows us to make our choice of the hard way or the easy way and He just sits back and waits. Probably not a bad idea. I think for the most part I was making decisions based on my desires and emotions not on what should be happening and how I should be reacting. Instead I was letting myself be directed by something that made me mad or upset me to the point of not sleeping. Don't get me wrong, I still have those days where sleep is a valued commodity but they are becoming less and less. Hearing His voice tell me "I've got this, just let Me handle it" has made me more relaxed. It does take time and over the past couple of months I have found that the more I try to hear Him the less I hear. But then in a moment of complete humility when I don't have anyone else to turn to, He comes through. Whether it's an answered prayer or a confirmation, God seems to know exactly when I need the comfort the most or if I am at a complete impass with a problem. I believe more now than ever that Lee and I are being drawn closer to a goal that was established 17 years ago even when we didn't know it was happening. That belief is founded strongly in the presence of God in our life a strength that we have never had before. Hearing the Voice isn't what you expect it isn't that loud pronounced statement from above. Instead it's the quiet sound of comfort or the words of relief for burdens that can't be worked out, and it's closer to us than we think.