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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Draw....

When I heard this word this morning (figuratively I mean), I didn't think immediately of 'drawing' or to 'draw' like I'm sure you did when you saw the title. Actually what I heard was from old movies where mothers and fathers tell their children to 'go draw some water' for dinner. Strangely odd that came to mind for me and not lets draw something for mom. And its not like I grew up in the netherlands of nowheresville and had a well to 'draw' from, so this was odd to me that this word brought up a memory from old movies. The second thought was 'draw your gun and shoot' again from old westerns that I have no true memory of...well except for Gunsmoke at the beginning when you see the sheriff's boots walking in the street and a quick turn and shoot from his trusty gun tied diligently to his leg. Now after hearing those two thoughts the word draw has a lot more meaning than what it sounds like at first. Its funny how a word that in our life means one thing actually holds more meaning in other ways then we gave it credit for or wanted to acknowledge.


I draw from a lot of things and people, I draw emotions from places that are tucked away in my mind and when they come to the surface, not unlike that bucket from a well, the bring a new round of hurt, confusion, anger, frustation, and often those draws bring smiles, joy, and laughter. I draw toward people for something that I long for in them that is not in me. Strength from friends and Lee, humor that only we could get from past memories, commrodery over frustration, and the list goes. I draw from that well regularly it seems and when the bucket hits the light the emotion and memory brings a wealth of the water that I did not necessarily want to receive. Truth be told, I don't even know how or when the drawing takes place but once one bucket makes it to the surface a wealth of other buckets are hot on its tail. I've been working at drawing from another place too. Working in a struggle to draw from a place that is of comfort and peace. This well has been much harder to draw from, mostly because I hesitate. Why? I'm not sure but I do, and then the drawing becomes a job a work of labor that I fail and walk away from quickly. This well is deep and is, right now, hard for me to get to and even tho I struggle with it, I desire to find and draw from it. This place, this well is where comfort and peace live continually. Where understanding and need to know are put to rest and I can just dwell. And yet I struggle with this draw, struggle to find a way to get the bucket over the well edge, because I am struggling to believe and have faith that this well will provide those few things the draw is harder. Jesus said "...the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14). And honestly, I believe His words, even tho I struggle with the well I believe those words He spoke and they make the drawing much harder. If this well is a spring of life, I am, I'm sure, suppose to live thru this time and in this time to be something more for someone outside of my life to get water from this well inside of me....Follow? As difficult as it is for me to see this, I want it to be true and full because there in that well bucket comes peace and comfort. There in that well bucket comes the things that I long for and struggle to get on my own. So the draw now has meaning that it didn't have at the beginning, it has a destination, a goal, a focal point, and not an end, it has a place in my life today and someone's future. The draw, not of a gun, but of that well water longing to be pulled from the deep into life. Where is your well? And who is it meant for? I'm still waiting for my answers and struggling with the draw from this well that is calling but I will struggle and hope the draw will be fulfilling, will you?

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