I'm truly not sure where I am suppose to start this at, I feel far away from a lot of people and especially God right now. This is one of those dry seasons, those testing times when I'm suppose to keep pressing forward and I have not been very successful. Then last night a long time friend and even more so sister (at heart anyway) encouraged me, something that I needed, kind of like a jump start. I haven't been faithful in my devotion time or anytime with God, a mission that I told and promised myself I was going to do, and I have been long away from it and I feel the distance. This morning I was literally struggling to find anything in the Word to speak to me and I love Ephesians, my favorite writings by Paul, and I just flipped through and picked some pieces out to read when I read chapter 2:12. Paul says "..that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Isreal and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world." I can just paint a picture of a long drive across the American plains as a kid...driving and driving 
through absolutely nothing. If you have never been across the great plains you are missing a great exerience, for me this experience has reminded me of times, like now, when I feel far away from God and distant from Christ. It's like driving and all you see is slow rolling hills and flat areas that go on forever and never seem to end. You don't even feel like your moving let alone getting anywhere. This time used to be a time of anger for me and sometimes still is but more and more I have learned to see this as a time of testing and trials. Times when God has given me a mission, a direction, and I have decided that I didn't want to move in that direction. It is or seems to be the dry season when no matter what I do I can't get through to God. I guess I'm driving across those plains once again. What I have found tho is that in these times God is so faithful to send someone to me who knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He did that last night with Liz. I am by far not one to share, and last night sharing was obviously on the agenda. Liz encouraged me to know that I was on the right track, even tho it doesn't feel like it to me, and to keep pressing forward. Ephesians 12:13 "But now you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ." Wow! what a powerful feeling, words that mean so much in such a short clear sentence. I may feel far away, not because God is distant but because I
am moving through yet another piece of the onion layers, one that I am reluctant to let fall away but that are being peeled apart. The drive that I am on, the one across the long and barren plains, is getting shorter and the mountains are in the distance now. And even tho they are far away, the are getting closer and one day I will get up and they will be in the front window (or out the front door). I don't know when that will be but I am sure God knows and I have to trust and believe that very soon this dry season that I am struggling thru will turn to a new fruitfulness, a new season, a new level of closeness to God. I was once far away, so far away that the plains I was walking in were dust, anger and hatred, unforgiveness and tyraids ruled my soul and flesh. Now I am near to Christ, I don't know why and I truly don't care why He loves me enough to take on what I am bringing and take it away. It makes no difference, I am near, I am in a trial, but even tho I can't "feel" Him, I know He is standing close by, I am near.
through absolutely nothing. If you have never been across the great plains you are missing a great exerience, for me this experience has reminded me of times, like now, when I feel far away from God and distant from Christ. It's like driving and all you see is slow rolling hills and flat areas that go on forever and never seem to end. You don't even feel like your moving let alone getting anywhere. This time used to be a time of anger for me and sometimes still is but more and more I have learned to see this as a time of testing and trials. Times when God has given me a mission, a direction, and I have decided that I didn't want to move in that direction. It is or seems to be the dry season when no matter what I do I can't get through to God. I guess I'm driving across those plains once again. What I have found tho is that in these times God is so faithful to send someone to me who knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He did that last night with Liz. I am by far not one to share, and last night sharing was obviously on the agenda. Liz encouraged me to know that I was on the right track, even tho it doesn't feel like it to me, and to keep pressing forward. Ephesians 12:13 "But now you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ." Wow! what a powerful feeling, words that mean so much in such a short clear sentence. I may feel far away, not because God is distant but because I
am moving through yet another piece of the onion layers, one that I am reluctant to let fall away but that are being peeled apart. The drive that I am on, the one across the long and barren plains, is getting shorter and the mountains are in the distance now. And even tho they are far away, the are getting closer and one day I will get up and they will be in the front window (or out the front door). I don't know when that will be but I am sure God knows and I have to trust and believe that very soon this dry season that I am struggling thru will turn to a new fruitfulness, a new season, a new level of closeness to God. I was once far away, so far away that the plains I was walking in were dust, anger and hatred, unforgiveness and tyraids ruled my soul and flesh. Now I am near to Christ, I don't know why and I truly don't care why He loves me enough to take on what I am bringing and take it away. It makes no difference, I am near, I am in a trial, but even tho I can't "feel" Him, I know He is standing close by, I am near.
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