The Same Ole Thing

I don't know if you read daily devotionals but for your reference I do - well sometimes I do. This morning I found a devotional that I had read a couple times in the past and just on a fluke, literally, read it. I have to say that usually I was more driven by the words of this particular devotional and today I found the words of the writer to be typical. I know what is typical? Well for many of you who may read this, I am a new believer in the grand scope of believers and in devotionals that I come across online or through books or wherever, there seems to be a typical theme.  This theme from the devotional this morning reads like most things that used to avert me to believers. What is that? Well, their struggles with being a Christian, their struggles with growth in anything, their struggles with Christ and running away from God. And, more often then not, the theme is presented by women (sorry sexist I know).  And I am probably allowing the "enemy" to play with my words and drive my fingers, or at least that is what some may think, but I don't believe so. I would love to read a devotional from someone who is admittedly a sinner, not someone who started their Christian life in a Christian home, moved through school with a Christian basis, and then went to college and ta-da their eyes were opened to the life of deceipt, lying, etc, etc, etc.

So what am I saying? Well I hope that somewhere I get to figure that out (haha - I bet you weren't ready for that!). What am I saying? Am I just lunging out at life-long Christians? And if I am I must be jealous of their life and history? Jealous of the fact that from my perspective they haven't really had trials and tribulations, so why are they so distraught? Yep! It sounds like I'm jealous! Whew, boy am I glad thats's out. I hope that jealousy is not the root of my writing today, I don't think it is or at least I hope it isn't.

The devotional this morning did strike me the wrong way, I was being lazy and decided to go somewhere else besides my regular Facebook page and so to some degree I'm sure that my mind and spirit are in a little bit of a heated battle. But I was looking for something when I went there, maybe a glimmer of peace, or a direction of hope and I didn't find that, not at all. What I found, yet again, was the same ole thing. The same temper of writing, the same message of writing, and the same result, the co-writing of a song or book. What is that? Is every Christian who goes through a Christ struggle instantly promoted to song writer or author? See, the same ole thing. It's almost as though these women who write on this particular devotion aren't really in reality. So what am I looking for?  Well in all honesty....the truth.

2 John 1:1-3 "To the chosen lady and her children, whom I love in the truth - and not I only, but also all who knows the truth - because the truth, which lives in us and will be with us forever. Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father's Son, will be with us in truth and love." There it is the truth I mean. Right there, right in the letters from, ok I don't know who, but at least in our Bible.  Do you see it?  The devotional(s) that I read this morning spoke of a woman, raised as a Christian and how she was a great Christian in her life until she went to college and then, literally, all hell broke loose. What happened? She ran from the truth; hid (as if) from God; found refuge in lies; and in the end (as always) she was quickened (or pursued) by God and redeemed. See the same ole thing! What I, a new believer, am having struggles with is, if this short scripture says "the truth, which lives in us and will be with us forever" then how can a Christian, long seeded in Christ run  from Him - because He is the Truth?

There is not doubt, not now anyway, that I am somewhat jealous of these women who are Christians who in my belief have not moved through true struggles. I am jealous that in all that they live they believe the worst struggle they have gone through is living in a world of lies and deception that they allowed to overtake their Christian beliefs. I am on one level very jealous for not living in that life and yet more than not, I feel pity for these women. Why? Because on some level, they will never know what it is like to be truly separated from Christ, on some level they believe that they were truly separated from Him (see this is the true enemy's work-deception of distance).  When I hear or meet of this type of person, man or woman, I feel as tho I have nothing to bring to a conversation. Lets face facts, they are usually the first ones to tell you of their struggles. As a new believer, a struggling seeker, and a true sinner who struggles with Christ daily, I want to read a devotional from a woman who says "Look! I am a sinner, I am truly struggling with my connection with God and guess what? He knows it and He still loves me and is just waiting for me to go through this time no matter how long it takes." Don't you? Wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air to read what a struggling, deep seeded Christian actually feels? And, in the midst of all their hurt and struggles, they say "it doesn't matter what struggles you are going through, it doesn't matter how far from God you think you are, because if you are a believer then the truth, lives in us and will be with us forever!"

Well I'm not much of a speaker, I am a runner (always have been), and I'm not a deep seeded Christian. But I can tell you that I deal with struggle every day, a deep seeded struggle to believe that God, the creator of all good could set my life in a motion of fear and anger so deep, that even I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and still I know, from knowledge, that He is good. That He is, somehow, some way, in control, and that He is the truth that lives in me and is forever with me....especially when now, when I am jealous, angry, heartbroken, and lost, He is forever with me.