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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Leap of Faith

Have you ever wondered what those words actually mean? I have, I mean I have heard them in my life probably more than a 1000 times but what do they actually mean. A couple friend of ours just entered into parenthood. A great and godly couple who were more excited about a child than I can ever remember being about my three pregnancies. They are full of just enthusiasium and happiness that I see in them that leap of faith. Walking into the unknown without a care in the world just going forward and making things work. I guess we all did it at one time or most of us will make that leap of faith at least once in our life time. I didn't see being a parent as a leap of faith almost 18 yrs ago when it all began, today I am getting my son ready for college, ready to go out into the real world and face unknown obstacles and trials that I will only be able to help with when I am needed.... a leap of faith.
I am starting another leap of faith, I guess God is not satisfied with just little "hops" in my life. I recently had an amazing tear down in my life, God tore down a wall between me and Him last week, one that I didn't even know was there. A wall that was blocking a lot of love, relief, passion and faith. In Matthew 17:20 Jesus said "Because of the littleness of your faith, for truly I say to you, I you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this moutnain, 'move from here to there' and it will move.." I said one time that I didn't think our faith came from us, that all we had to hae was faith of a little amount and God would do the rest. I didn't know then that I was speaking a truth. I didn't have the faith in God to let the wall I had built around my life be taken apart. God was just another figure in my life who wanted authority over me and a week ago I wouldn't have been saying this, but today I know now that I didn't want the authority because of lack of trust and faith I had in Him. It took all summer for me to get here, all summer of me feeling like God wasn't listening and He just wasn't around me to get to this place. I kept searching for my faith when I really should be searching and seeking God and Jesus and the faith that is a mustard seed will be enough.
So I ask you, what are you seeking? Are you 'force feeding' yourself faith? Or are you seaching out God? A leap of faith isn't what it sounds like, it's really not a leap at all just one step toward God and in that one step forward a 1000 backward steps are forgotten.