Lost

I know that all of you have been lost at one time or another. And I'm sure none of you started getting unlost by asking for directions. You, like me, probably tried to undo the lostness by backtracking your directions. Which when I say it is much easier than it seems because you literally have to 'flip' the directions and go the opposite way that you should have gone originally. And that is absolutely no fun! I generally know when I'm lost mostly because I have never known my left from my right and I inevitably say left when I actually mean right. Over the years I have stopped saying right or left when I'm in the passenger seat of the car (being the navigator) and started either snapping for left or tapping on the window for right; kind of a code that my husband and I have worked out, ok mostly me. Getting lost is actually very easy for me because of that failure to learn left from right, scary huh?
I especially hate having to go somewhere new in the dark and then getting lost. It's actually something that proably happens more often then not to most of us, trying to read directions by the car doom light and squinting at the small road signs looking for our turn, only to find out we missed it and we are on a dead end. A dead end that is at the bottom of a scary wooded area with few houses around and those that are around are dark and uninviting. Well there's a scary picture for your mind to dwell on or maybe that's what I intended for you to see. If you've ever been lost at night you know exactly what I am talking about and for most of us a scary movie will come to mind almost immediately. But what if you lived lost every day? What if when you got up in the morning and you didn't know who or where you were? You were lost. This probably happens more than I like to admit, it probably happens daily sometimes, and in all honestly-it's somewhat comfortable. I know - crazy! But there I am lost. The feeling of being lost is only comfortable to those of us who have been here before or for a long time and we 'move in'. This kind of lost is not as easy as back tracking, or stopping and asking for directions-its spiritual, and soulful lostness. How do you back track that? You can't, just in case you are wondering, you can't. Ezekiel 34:16 "I will search for the lost and bring back the strays, I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak.." I don't the backgrounds and laziness has me not really caring but this scripture was referenced in my husband's Bible in to those who are lost spiritually.
I can't back track from being lost, not now, there's no way back and it would take more than one flipped turn. But I know that sometime in the future, I will be unlost because whether I 'feel' it or not Someone is searching for me. And I know that sometime ago, at some point, I was found and now I am briefly lost again (I hope). Being lost is not just for the unbelieving and unknowing but for those, like me, who believe but can't see the way back. John 18:9 "This happened so that the words that he had spoken would be fulfilled "I have not lost one of those you gave me"." I am not sure if these two scriptures are connected in any way but to me they seem to be connected directly. I was an Ezekiel lost stray and about 3 years ago I was brought back. Now I am lost again but I have not been lost by Him because He hasn't lost anyone given Him. I wish I could get back sooner, maybe the lostness I 'feel' would subside more quickly. And over this week I have been realizing the lostness that I was denying and more and more I feel completely lost and yet John 18:9 stood out. Maybe John 18:9 it actually saying "I know you're lost right now, I know you feel apart from Me, but know that I am close even though you don't know it, know that even tho the directions are confusing and it is dark, you are not alone, and believe that I will not lose you and you are in Me."