2 to 5 years...sounds like a prison sentence doesn't it? It sounds that way to me and that's exactly what I thought of when I first heard this statement, a prison sentence. The familiar sound of what a judge renders when a jury returns with a verdict, indicating to the defendant how long they will be imprisoned. 2 to 5 years...where was this sentence going to be served and why did it sound like prison to me, immediately? Because that is what it sounded like - at least on the inside.
I heard this sentence being detailed in a class this weekend, by a national leader and speaker. She stood at the front of the room and described the 'journey' and time frame for those of us sitting on baited breath waiting for what would be the sentence none of us w
anted to hear... 2 to 5 years. How coud this be? How could this have happened? And how could I appeal the decision (the legal mind immediately goes to that thought - appeal)? And whom to appeal? How do I shorten this sentence and quickly? This was on my mind almost as soon as the words left her mouth, well at least until the second part of the sentence was rendered. "2 to 5 years after" - after what? When can this sentence begin? "2 to 5 years after" - I dwelled on that for what seemed like a long time although the remaining part of the sentence had already been rendered I was working through how to get out of the "after" and how to appeal the sentence. It took more time that I care to remember for the remaining of the sentence to register and when it did I realized that my sentence has probably not started. "2 to 5 years after the grieving begins. 2 to 5 years after you begin the grieving process, not after you loss your loved one." My mind reeled and ran on full force, when does the grieving process begin and how could I get it started and quickly. This sentence was rendered at the beginning of the morning and my mind held on to that for the remainder of the day, "2 to 5 years after". It broke my heart, it crushed my spirit, how could this have happened? So much so that every thing that ran amuck in my mind was only searching for an answer as to how to get out.
anted to hear... 2 to 5 years. How coud this be? How could this have happened? And how could I appeal the decision (the legal mind immediately goes to that thought - appeal)? And whom to appeal? How do I shorten this sentence and quickly? This was on my mind almost as soon as the words left her mouth, well at least until the second part of the sentence was rendered. "2 to 5 years after" - after what? When can this sentence begin? "2 to 5 years after" - I dwelled on that for what seemed like a long time although the remaining part of the sentence had already been rendered I was working through how to get out of the "after" and how to appeal the sentence. It took more time that I care to remember for the remaining of the sentence to register and when it did I realized that my sentence has probably not started. "2 to 5 years after the grieving begins. 2 to 5 years after you begin the grieving process, not after you loss your loved one." My mind reeled and ran on full force, when does the grieving process begin and how could I get it started and quickly. This sentence was rendered at the beginning of the morning and my mind held on to that for the remainder of the day, "2 to 5 years after". It broke my heart, it crushed my spirit, how could this have happened? So much so that every thing that ran amuck in my mind was only searching for an answer as to how to get out. Isaiah 35:10 "and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion singing, everlasting joy will crown their heads.Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee."
Isaiah 60:20 "Your sun will never set again and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow will end."
I know that this is a prophecy of Christ's binding up of the brokenhearted, and I know that it is about all those who are here that Christ will call home. I wonder when this wil happen. When I wil be filled with gladness and joy and when the sorrow will flee (2 to 5 years)? I don't doubt that my heart will be bound up - sometime in the future - I doubt that I have started the sentence. I don't worry about the binding up of my heart, I worry about how long it will take for the binding to be finished. And I hope that these words, spoken prophetically about Christ's mission, are true and come to fruition.
Out of fear of the end of the sentence rendered, I do not want to start the sentence. Why? Because I am fearful of being lost in the binding, being lost in the process and that I will never reach the end of my senten
ce and when I do, who will come out of the prison door? And is the door ever going to open (well once it's closed)? So here I am - waiting for my sentence to start. Wondering if the sentence is going to be delayed with further hearings and court appointments before the sentence actually begins? Wondering who is going to hold the key that will let me out of the prison? I wish I could have the answer now, right now would be perfect. But I would settle for for a new translation to Isaiah 60:20 that read like this "I know right now it is dark where you are. I know that you can not see the sun and when it does appear there seems to be no warmth. I know that your nights are blacked out and the moon is in constant waning. I know that you feel alone and are struggling behing the cell door. But know that, even though you can not see me, and you don't know I am here, I stand in the hallway guarding you diligently. Know that I am the holder of your heart and it hurts My heart to see you bear this burden, it makes Me ache with you but you can give it to Me when you are ready."
ce and when I do, who will come out of the prison door? And is the door ever going to open (well once it's closed)? So here I am - waiting for my sentence to start. Wondering if the sentence is going to be delayed with further hearings and court appointments before the sentence actually begins? Wondering who is going to hold the key that will let me out of the prison? I wish I could have the answer now, right now would be perfect. But I would settle for for a new translation to Isaiah 60:20 that read like this "I know right now it is dark where you are. I know that you can not see the sun and when it does appear there seems to be no warmth. I know that your nights are blacked out and the moon is in constant waning. I know that you feel alone and are struggling behing the cell door. But know that, even though you can not see me, and you don't know I am here, I stand in the hallway guarding you diligently. Know that I am the holder of your heart and it hurts My heart to see you bear this burden, it makes Me ache with you but you can give it to Me when you are ready."
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