Hope for the Best, Expect the Worst

I lived by this for most of my life, and sometime between 2008 and 2010 I stopped living by it and I'm not sure when that happened. I had always lived in hoping for the best, hoping that things would work out, hoping that this or that would end up the way "it should". And then inevitably expecting the worst of the situation and living in fear. That's how I lived my life and when that part of my life stopped, still have no idea when or how that happened, things changed in my life. I really didn't pay much attention to how things would turn out, how things played out or what would happen or not happen. That changed on April 24th, 2010, I almost immediately reverted back to expecting the worst and living in fear.
I am reading a book, trying to figure out how to persevere thru this time in my life, and came across this quote "We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." - C. S. Lewis. This is the nicest way I have come across for my proverb to be relayed. Don't you agree? I mean it is exactly that when you strip away the nicities. "We're not necessarily doubing that God will do the best for us" - Hope for the Best. That's what this fragmented sentence says when you get down to it. I believe God has only the best plan for me, I hope that the best is coming. "We are wonding how painful the best will turn out to be" - Expect the Worst. Right? That's what this fragmented sentence says, expect the worst. So taken together the statement this wonderful, soul searching, heart bending, statement, says hope for the best, expect the worst.
I have to say when I read this statement it spoke to me volumes of words. It said that I am doubting even tho I am standing on truth. I am standing on promises that may not come to fruition. I am holding on to something that is going to be heartbreaking. This morning I shared this quote with my Facebook friends and they read this statement in the same fashion. I left the computer for a moment, ok maybe longer, and came back to find some responses to the posting and I re-read the statement. That's when it stood out to me as 'hope for the best, expect the worst'.
I am living in this statement again, living in hoping that God has the best plan for me and only living in fear, and expecting the worst outcome. And I dwelled on this belief this morning for a while and then picked up my book once more and retraced what I had read in the previous 2 chapters and this is what I found. John 14:2 "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." Why this scripture? Why was this standing out? Doesn't it sound like something above? Maybe not exactly but I think it reads like this "Hope for the Best and Prepare for the Best". Ok so not exactly like my live by saying, and yet it stood out.
I haven't reached through the expecting the worst to find the hope of the best. I think I'm just moving slowly or being held here for a little while-longer. I'm trying to stay hopeful, hopeful that the best is in the plan even tho I don't see it or maybe I don't want to see it (yet) but in the meantime, I'm living in expecting the worst. Holding in fear. Hope for the best, expect the worst is not where I want to be, I got a reprieve once, for a short time and I want to be there again (someday). I want to be hoping for the best because the best is already being prepared, even if I'm not living in that now, I know its waiting for me.