You Are Here

These are the signs that I remember reading at every place we went as I grew up traveling across the western part of the country. At every rest area, I'd go see where we were and how far we had to go; although  my mother did teach me how to read a map, it was always something to see that sign "you are here" with an arrow pointing directly at the spot on the map. This map is from a park, one that I probably haven't been to but a map nonetheless that I have been drawn to at every state park we visit. For what ever reason, I am drawn to know exactly where I am ... I have no explanation for it, no real reason for it but I am drawn to the maps (yes, even those in the mall - go figure). I don't know if there's are real reason except that I may have a slight mental problem with location....and since that's the only answer I can come up with, I think I'll stick with that reasoning. Oh you can deny it, I'll let you, but in actually every one of us have it ingrained in our psyche to find out where we are - especially if we took a little nap while we were getting to wherever we were going. The ingrained desire to have a respective idea of where we are is something that we grow up with and carry into our adult life. I have found that I am always wanting to know where "you" are - whether its knowing where my girls are, what my husband is doing or where my closest friends are...I want to know, and I believe on some level so do you.

I don't know for sure where you are right now, my immediate guess is sitting on your couch waiting for coffee to finish, scanning the computer and maybe even Facebook stalking...am I close? The sad thing is that I don't know where I am , I've tried to figure that out for the past couple of months and all in all am at a loss for finding the answer - or the indicative arrow pointing to that place on a map stating exactly where I am. I have found myself in this place before but with a little effort I have been able to locate a map or a sign to show me where I am and what way I need to go...lately, tho, I am finding that I am simply wandering around and probably going in circles. There are things going on in this over complicated life that I am avoiding and simply moving around to make it through the day..it has been happening now for about 3 months but last night I realized where I was. My best friend said in a conversation "It makes you wonder why things like this happen to good people." Almost as soon as she said it, I saw my sign "you are here" with a flashing arrow pointing to right where I was standing. In all the months that I've tried to figure out what in the world I'm doing, it took a sentence to make that sign appear...and it took 10 hours for me to see the flashing arrow but I finally know where I am....Psalms 38:17 "I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me." The statement my friend made was about the loss of a husband suffered by a friend of hers, but I think it was more than just that, I believe it was a statement of the place we have been for a while, walking in circles trying to figure out why we suffer things that are bad, when there seems to be no reason. "I am about to fall..." Literally, the fall happened over 2 yrs ago, that's when the questioning began and when the fall started. I started questioning the reason that "we" suffered something so unbelievable after moving out of a life without Christ and into a life with Christ. There are no answers, trust me I've looked.. But I did find a direction, probably not the direction that I wanted but I found it nonetheless....1Peter 2:19 "For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God." No, this is not the direction or arrow that I wanted, it is far from a answer to the life that I am now standing in, but it is nonetheless, an answer. I am in a fall, and no matter how much I try to avoid the pain that I (and those around me) have suffered, it is..forever with me. There is no running from it, no hiding from it and by far no way to get that arrow showing me where I am; I am aware of God through this unjust suffering, even tho I am stuck with trying to find a direction, and through questioning, I am aware of God's presence how ever far off it is, I am aware.