Waiting....Once Again....Waiting

Have you ever waited for something? And I mean waited and waited and waited and waited. And somewhere in all the waiting you find that you give up or just fall into and unknown rhythm of "ok whatever". If you are anything like me, waiting is one of your least favorite things to do. Waiting is one of those things that I just can't seem to get away from no matter how hard I try.

I attempted to start writing every day this year, something I presumed would be easy and something I was hoping would shorten the waiting that I am going through; neither has happened. The waiting seems to be getting longer and my writing well that has gone to the wayside more than once. What am I awaiting? Well in one word, hope. Hope to give me inspiration, hope to give me peace, hope to give .... well anything. If you've never been in this waiting line, its not much different than waiting for a roller coaster ride at an amusement park in the middle of Summer. The line stretches for more than a mile and somewhere way up front is where the line gets on the ride. But while in line the ride actually begins, the waiting to 'get there' starts with excitement, anticipation, or anxiety, and as the line slowly progresses, the screams from the now riders builds inside the mind and the waiting gets tougher. After a long 1-2 hours, there's a crest in the line and low and behold there's the ride, the thing heard for the past hours is now in sight and the heart races while you watch the ride pull away and begin its ascend and descent, twist and twirls, with yells and screams falling on ears below, and sweat begins to stream off your face. The anxiety has come to life, right there standing in line for the one thing you most wanted as you reach the platform. Waiting on inspiration is the same as this line, I've waited for something inspiring to happen to give me a reason to hope. The anxiety has been of unmeasurable force and yet I wait. Waiting on inspiration is something that no one should be subjected to, just like waiting for 3 hours to get on a roller coaster. It is also, by far, one of the most difficult, crushing, and mindboggling things that one can wait to occur. It has stumped profession writers, artists, dancers, performers around the world and throughout history and still they wait.

Its funny how inspiration comes when it does, for me, I have been waiting for an answer; an answer to my unbelief. This morning in reading for whatever reason (something I am not doing much of and fighting my mind to do) I read on waiting for hope. It was this particular reading, as usual, on target with my heart. How waiting on hope is the most difficult of waiting that one will go through, how waiting on hope is the worst waiting. The author apparently knows this place because she talks of waiting for hope in the darkest times with no glimmer of prospect. Gal 5:5 For we through the Spirit by faith wait for the hope of righteousness." Its amazing sometimes how things just work out. Today is June 26th and when I opened my devotional book, I turned to what I thought said June 26 but when I picked it up to quote the scripture and look up Galatians, the page says July 26. I turned to June 26, mostly because I was curious, and the reading is on unbelief. The author starts with Rom 3:3 "For what is some did not believe? Shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?".."I think I can trace every scrap of sorrow in my life to simple unbelief."

Its funny how things work out, happen, occur; its funny how God can orchestrate something without me even knowing or realizing it happened. I'm still waiting, even now that I know its unbelief that is causing the wait, still waiting for a devine intervention of inspiration to cut through the unbelief and get me out of the wait. Do you think it will happen? Maybe it will. Maybe it already has