To Boldly Go Through Water....

Have you ever tried to find something and not matter how hard you look you can't seem to locate what you are looking for? I have been in that place this morning; determined to find a passage that is eluding me, probably on purpose, I am totally convinced that Beth Moore is right that just when you think you know where something is in the Bible it moves. Or maybe I'm not suppose to talk about that one particular verse, even tho that is exactly what I want to write about...and yet it is not in the place that I am certain it was located not to long ago. So, I am sticking with my plan, yep that's the way I am, hard headed, bullheaded, stubborn, well it all means the same thing...right? Well let's hope so, or what I'm writing is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Okay, lets go!

Why water? Well because if you know anything about horses, yes horses, you are fully aware that water seems to be a challenge above all challenges for a horse to go through. The reason is beyond me, I have heard that horses only see in two dimension and they only see that something is there, a reflection or black hole, and they are afraid to step into what they can not see. I tend to believe that statement, true or not, I believe that it's probably very true. My young horse, Myisha, had a huge issue with water when I first started riding her. Talk about bullheaded and stubborn, you have no idea. I used pulling bribing, and even had her ride buddies travel away from her...and she did not budge, could have cared less. Then after about 3 months of -ok not fighting - she just went through, from that day forward she went willing right through water, trotting, walking, cantering, right through water she went, no questions no hesitation...well until August of this year.  For the first time in 4 years she bulked at a puddle. To boldly go through water quickly turned to 'you first'.  Funny picture isn't it of the nicely dressed man hanging on his horses neck? Well that is what I had to have looked like in August! Looking back there were a lot of things that caused the bulk, she was alone the first time without a ride buddy, she was in the lead with 5 horses behind her, it was at the beginning of the ride, and the list goes on and on...But in reality, the reason she didn't go through the puddle willingly was because she didn't believe me. Yep that's right, she didn't believe me. 2 Cor 5:7 "For we walk by faith, not by sight." (Just for the record, no, this is not the passage that I was looking for when I started this blog, but this is the one that seemed to jump out at me even in my failing attempts to locate the passage of scripture I wanted to use; says something doesn't it?)

You may ask, what didn't my horse believe, and why would that have anything to do with the course of this writing, and, of course, where is this mumbo jumbo heading? (go ahead, it seems that way, just a bunch of illucide writing, right? well I hope not.) The title "to boldly go through water" was a play on words from Star Trek (just for all you trekkies) that I used some time ago on a set of rhythm beads for my horse (long story, don't ask); it was not intended as a title to anything here, yet that is exactly the title that I'm using to make a point. My horse didn't believe me that it was okay to go through that puddle to enter the dark covered trail just beyond it and that it was okay to go and nothing was going to eat her; she didn't have faith in my decision to go in the place I was pointing her. Am I personally afraid of water? No. But I know people who are, maybe not a puddle but water nonetheless. What I am afraid of is moving; moving from where I've become comfortable, moving without knowing what's just beyond the dark puddle and under the tree covered, dark trail, all because I can't see. Not to unlike my reluctant mare, I don't believe that God has good intended for me where I can not see to go, I don't believe that He has my heart in mind, my safety in His heart, nor my sanity in perspective. That's what it really boils down to; believe it or not, just like my mare, who was certain that something was amiss, I too am certain that there is something lurking in the shadows just beyond the pit that the puddle is hiding, I'm afraid to move.

I'm not entirely sure what, if anything, this particularly blog is suppose to do for me, well okay besides smack me in the head, kick me in the sides to prod me forward, and push me through the puddle (yes that is exactly what I did to Myisha), but I'm hopeful that it'll all come together (in this paragraph!). I know in my heart and mind that some of you who read this are fully ready to go through the water and not care how deep or scary the other side is, and I'm fully aware that some of you are saying "amen sister", because like me, you are afraid to move. "For we walk by faith, not by sight" - for each of us afraid to move, we know that this means beyond doubt we are to move - get through the muck that we are not willing to tread and yet we don't go because we don't believe. How do we change that? Well for my horse, she had no choice, she was most definitely going through that water! And I believe that God is not to unlike me when I ride, maybe He isn't using a stern voice (or maybe He is) and maybe He isn't literally kicking me in the side, but He most definitely isn't allowing me to get away from the water. I can't go around it, and I can't go back (although truth be told it would be nice), so here I stand waiting to not be afraid to move. Waiting to look like this horse and rider above, boldly going through water, without hesitation, without reserve, without fear of what's waiting on the other side. "For we walk by faith, not by sight", maybe I need a blindfold? Maybe I just need to close my eyes and take the first step to find out that the water isn't quite as scary and deep as I think and only ankle deep there's the ground.
For we walk by faith, not by sight... Lord help me walk blindly and believe.