Missionary

Do I even know what that word means? Probably not, at least not the real content of the word "missionary". But yesterday I was taking an email survey, you know the one that goes around and you answer with one word....or something like that. Anyway, one of the questions is where to you want to me in 6 years? "missionary" is what came to mind. I hadn't been thinking about this for some time now, and as in the past I just felt this was a flippant thing coming to mind. But yesterday it came so clearly to me when that question appeared. I have a long way to go before I get to missionary work. God is still working heavily on my allowing Him to be my Banner (you know the thing that you put in the front of your life, the One you let everyone see first-your banner). One thing he is working on is me opening my mouth for a good cause and reason. First and foremost, I am suppose to take opportunities to use my testimony of what God has done for me and where God has brought me from. Unfortuntely, those that I am suppose to share that with I am initimated by and leary, to tell the truth, about speaking too.
Sunday during the message, Randy described a person that I feel I am drifting into, a comfortable, content, complacent christian.......hummm? Doesnt' sound to bad on the front but when you put that description in the context that the message produced, it's not that great. And as I listened I found parts of the person being descried was becoming more like me. I do find ways to avoid speaking about God and what I feel, truly feel about Him and His Salvation of my life, and truly it was and is a salvation of my life. I find it even more difficult to speak when God puts a friend in front of me, one who may be sceptical or judgmental, I usually find something else to talk about. Even though in the back of my throat are words that I want to say, things that I feel are more important than waht I am talking about, yet they just never make it to the surface......chickened out!! God put the word missionary in my life more than a year ago. Some of you may think this is just coinsidence but it's isn't. Shortly after God grabbed me and Lee, I had a dream that we were standing in the church hallway and talking to our friends and one of them asked what we were doing, and immediately I said "we are going on a mission trip." Since that time, God has been putting us in places of immediate and strong growth. We don't always see it but then we attended a missionary seminar and we were moved beyond belief. I couldn't believe the way the weekend moved us, it was like wave and we were just on the ride. It was amazing how God rekindled the spirit of missionary in us that weekend. Then like a flame, it dwindled and has become less of a flame and more like a flicker. ...until yesterday.
God is preparing Lee and I for something big and we are only seeing the outer edge and not looking deeper in. I believe that God is preparing us here for work to do elsewhere, I don't know where or when, but I feel it and when the word "missionary" came to my mind yesterday, I found myself at peace with it.
Jesus told his disciples that He would always be with them. He told them to go an make disciples of the nations and tell the gospel. I don't know what the plan is but I believe that it is suppose to start here, in my present, current life. Here talking about God and putting Him in front of me instead of what others will think. Him as my Banner.