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Friday, May 4, 2012

"I Know.."

"I know" seems like a simple set of words...doesn't it? I haven't written here in a long, long time and those of you who may frequent this blog would say .... "I Know!" As a mom, I am constantly saying "I know", "I know", "I know". And then something happened this Spring that I was prepared for, wasn't in "the know" of, something that will define a future from constant and stead, trekked through fear, and now into a time of faith, a place I "know" to well.

This Spring our daughter Jennifer became a 'real' senior in high school. One day she got up and she was a young girl, at least in my eye, and the next day she was a young woman, preparing to graduate and thrust into a season of faith.  She did not make this trek alone, she had by her side her little sister-a growing young lady who in all ways makes you laugh when you least expect to-and in the background stood me and her father.  This Spring we spent all week running from soccer game to soccer game, thing to thing, to and from Montreat College, and all while working toward a date that may have stopped all of our plans. We as a family are entering into a new life, a life where we will see Jennifer move away to college, where Sydney will consume all of our time, and where Lee and I may be able to recover into each other once in a while.  And we don't "know" what will happen, how we will fair, and what the outcome will be we move ever forward. What I "know" is that it doesn't matter.  More than four years ago, I had a feeling that there was a plan for Jennifer a great plan that I was not privy too. This week I re-read something that I'd read more than four years ago, and I realized that the future of our lives is taken care of. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

"I know" that is all that matters, those that words "I know", because in those words there is peace and grace. I know my daughters are strong and amazing young women. They are held up by hands that I do not see, directed by a plan that I don't have control over, and they are beautiful young women who are more then blessings in my life. They give me a day of laughter when I least expect it, they "know" when the other needs to laugh, they give grace to a home that sometimes isn't the liveliest to be part of, and they are loved more than they "know". Our girls, they "know" somethings that they don't even realize, they "know" how to make a  smile and "know" how to draw one out of us. They "know" their heart and don't have a problem speaking their minds (although I have no idea where they get that from) and they are full of life. They may not "know" how much they mean to me and Lee, and that's ok, they probably don't realize that they are more than just our daughters but daughters of friends in our life. They, together, are a future in the shadow of tragedy, they are laughter in a time of tears and fear, and they are the loves of my life. From flowery outfits and playful words, to strong opinions and faithful hearts, these lovely young women are love and flower, peace and grace, strength and presence...they are the breathe of my life every morning when they trek downstairs...they are our daughters!

 "for I know the plans I have for you", "plans to give you hope and a future"..... the future of hope  and plans of prosper....I know that there are strong plans for our daughters in this coming future and I can't wait to see who they become! With all my love, to my daughters, Jennifer and Sydney.